11/29/2009: GRR v. TRG

Bout recap by Anne Boleyn-You-Over

Nov. 29, 2009:
“Throwdown in Titletown”

FINAL: Gainesville Roller Rebels 107, Tallahassee Rollergirls 90

Click here to check out photos from the bout by Dana John Hill.

After Jacksonville’s River City Rat Pack kept the Roller Rebels from achieving a perfect season on their home track, they were looking for the next best thing — a one-loss home season, and a victory against the Tallahassee Rollergirls. Divided into perfect halves, the 42-jam bout was a fight of the ages between a WFTDA-anointed team and an up-and-coming team that had everything to prove.

The ladies of Tallahassee, wearing garnet and gold in a tribute to the Florida State Seminoles, consisted of blockers Erin Breakabitch, I Keel You, Jabba the Butt, LaVooDoo, Moxie Knockout, Purr So Cute, RAWthentic, Tell-Tale Tart, Titanium Whip and Trailer Thrash. Jamming in red were Catchup, Great Wall of Gina, Lo Maim and StoneHer.

The Roller Rebels, wearing their true blue, counted Dr. PopHer, Hershall Stalker, Grizzly Madams, Lethal Dose, Patsy Clothesline, PocaHotAss, Roll It Up and Ruby Typhoon as their blockers. Also joining them were sister skaters from the Jacksonville Roller Girls, Anita Hardone and Sass n Bash. Jamming for the Rebels was Suzie Bonebreaker, joined by Jacksonville’s Crash Register and Meow Mix Yo’ Face Up.

Neither team wasted any time making a statement. Sure-footed Suzie Bonebreaker came up in the first jam against the agile StoneHer. StoneHer quickly took the inside line, rewarded by being the night’s first lead jammer. But Gainesville’s Grizzly Madams blocked StoneHer to the outside, sending her out of bounds and allowing Suzie to skate right up the inside of the pack and score 4 points. StoneHer wisely ended the jam from the ground, scavenging 1 point for her effort.

The following two jams rewarded Crash Register and Suzie Bonebreaker with 4 points each, while Tallahassee’s prolific Catchup and Lo Maim were held to zero points.

By the fifth jam, Tallahassee’s StoneHer was back for redemption from the first jam, skating against Suzie Bonebreaker once again. But instead of snagging a few points for her team, Roller Rebels Lethal Dose and Dr. PopHer made an early first-half sandwich with the jammer, allowing Suzie Bonebreaker to gain lead jammer status and score a quick point before calling off the jam.

The next jam saw Crash Register skating against the amazingly agile Lo Maim, who knew she needed to get more than just a point or two to keep her team close to the Rebels. Skating so low her knees are almost pressed to her stomach, Lo Maim dashed past Meow Mix Yo’ Face Up, Gainesville’s last line of defense, to become Tallahassee’s first lead jammer since the opening jam. Not to be denied, however, Crash Register was hot on her heels, sneaking up the inside line through the pack and passing all four Tallahassee blockers. Following just behind her, Lo Maim matched her 4 points before calling off the jam.

A few jams later, and Gainesville continued to stretch their lead. Tallahassee knew they needed to try something different, sending RAWthentic to the jammer’s slot instead of her normal blocking position. Skating fiercely ahead of Suzie Bonebreaker, she was immediately stopped by Lethal Dose’s incredibly imposing ass. As she attempted to skate around the Roller Rebels’ blocker, Lethal Dose delivered a hammering blow that sent RAWthentic literally flying out of bounds. Suzie Bonebreaker skated through the pack and became lead jammer, while RAWthentic found herself stuck behind Gainesville’s blockers. Suzie got past three of Tallahassee’s blockers on her second pass, while RAWthentic was right in the middle of a Lethal Dose and Dr. PopHer sandwich. Getting tossed out of bounds again, Tallahassee’s jammer came back in a few steps early. Adding insult to injury, she was held to 0 points and sent to the penalty box for cutting the track. Taking advantage of the situation, Crash Register and Suzie Bonebreaker scored 16 points between themselves, while a jammerless Tallahassee team was held scoreless for the next three jams.

Nearing the end of the first half, StoneHer was back again for revenge against Suzie Bonebreaker and the Roller Rebels. StoneHer made it through the pack first and became lead jammer. RAWthentic effectively held an exhausted Suzie Bonebreaker at the back of the pack as StoneHer passed her and her blockers twice, gaining a sweet 10 points. A few jams later and the halftime score was Gainesville 70, Tallahassee 40.

The second half began all in favor of Gainesville. Great Wall of Gina gave Suzie Bonebreaker a fight for lead jammer, but was called out on a major cutting penalty. With a little help from her friend Grizzly Madams taking out I Keel You and RAWthentic with hard-hitting blocks, Suzie scored 10 points to make the most of the Power Jam.

On the next jam, however, Tallahassee’s quick-hitting blockers returned Gainesville’s favor. Titanium Whip sent Crash Register out of bounds and she proved to be a little too quick-footed, coming back in bounds ahead of Titanium. Banished to the penalty box, it was now Great Wall of Gina’s chance to skate out of the box and get some points. Fighting hard against Sass N Bash and Patsy Clothesline, Gina got 8 points for Tallahassee.

After Gina’s great show of athleticism, Gainesville dominated over the talented Tallahassee team through the next three jams, holding them to 0 points.

But the passionate and strong Tallahassee team was not one to be taken down quietly. Each jam became more and more aggressive, Gainesville’s players in blue being sent to the penalty box one after the other. Tallahassee was able to take advantage of a Power Jam and several jams with only two Gainesville blockers holding down the fort, decreasing Gainesville’s lead from 38 points to 28 points with 12 minutes left.

Tested by Tallahassee’s tenacity, the Roller Rebels spent the next few jams trading points with their rival. In the 35th jam, Crash Register was treated to a Power Jam when StoneHer was called for her fourth minor penalty before the jam began. Not to be skated over, Great Wall of Gina and LaVooDoo challenged the Gainesville jammer up front, until Meow Mix Yo’ Face Up managed to break up the wall for her jammer to get through and score 5 points.

Two jams later, however, it was Tallahassee’s turn. StoneHer went skate to skate with Meow Mix Yo’ Face Up, beating Gainesville’s jammer for coveted lead jammer status while her team’s blockers kept Meow stuck at the back of the pack. While Gainesville’s Ruby Typhoon and PocaHotAss attempted to get their jammer through, StoneHer skated right past them, effectively ending the jam with 9 points.

At the beginning of the next jam, Meow Mix Yo’ Face Up was sent to the box with her fourth minor penalty, allowing Tallahassee their very own Power Jam. Catchup took full advantage of her time on the track, forcing several Gainesville blockers to get major penalties and getting 10 points for her team.

But Gainesville staved off Tallahassee’s final run. With PocaHotAss and Dr. PopHer anxiously waiting to come back on the track from the penalty box, Crash Register took on Lo Maim. As the two jammers skated off the line, they began to block one another, trying to gain the advantage. Sneaking just ahead of her on the inside, Crash Register flew by the blockers in garnet, snagging lead jammer. Skating around the track until Lo Maim was just behind her, she wisely called off the jam before Lo Maim could score any points.

Two jams later, with a final, sweaty two points carved out by both teams, the Roller Rebels defeated the Tallahassee Rollergirls 107 to 90.

This victory was by far the Rebels’ sweetest, a culmination of training, hard work and heart. To best such a talented, well-respected and amazing team as Tallahassee was a testament to how far they had come in the last year.

The Gainesville Roller Rebels ended the 2009 season with a passionate win, secure in knowing they will begin the 2010 the very same way!


Not only did Gainesville and Tallahassee both skate an amazing bout, the Roller Rebels also raised $1,100 for Spread The Love, a charity set up for Tally’s own Danger S who is battling cervical cancer. Visit Spread The Love online for details on how you can help.