10/24/2010: GRR vs. MRRG

Oct. 24, 2010: “Halloween Horror Fights”

FINAL: Gainesville Roller Rebels’ Swamp City Sirens 118, Molly Roger Roller Girls 102

Bout recap by Ferg Shagnasty

This Halloween season, turnabout was fair play as the Gainesville Roller Rebels’ Swamp City Sirens exacted revenge against the Molly Roger Roller Girls 118-102. Molly Roger defeated Gainesville 169-88 in an earlier road bout on August 28, a low point in an otherwise highly successful season.

This bout was a tale of two halves, one a smooth, well-skated contest and the other a chippy penalty-fest that saw numerous injuries, mistakes and official timeouts. With the music pounding, the crowd pumped and birthday boy MC Glyph on the mic, the bout was on.

Despite a quick 5-0 lead by Molly Roger with a nifty start jam by Snap Happy (57), the Sirens’ blockers buckled down and cleared paths for fan favorites Suzie Bonebreaker (13) and Roll It Up (420). When the dust cleared, the Sirens took a lead they would not relent until midway through the half, 11-7. What gave the Sirens the cushion they needed at the start, however, was a double grand slam by future MVP Jammer The Jamburglar (15), scoring a whopping 15 points. While she was running up the score, the trenches were busy with blockers Ruby Typhoon (77) and Zelda Shagnasty (69) knocking opponent barriers out of the way and keeping Roger jammer Erin Breakabitch (38D, borrowed from Tallahassee) from gaining any momentum.

The Sirens took a comfortable 26-11 lead, until the Molly Roger Roller Girls took advantage of a Roll It Up penalty leaving Deviant Behavior (28, borrowed from Jacksonville) free to roam, scoring 10 quick points – tack on two more by Snap Happy and the hefty lead was trimmed 34-32. Another untimely penalty by a jammer, this time Suzie Bonebreaker, opened the door for Blu-Eyed Gynecide (89) to score some points, giving Molly Roger a tenuous lead 35-34.

It was a penalty by Roger jammer Deviant Behavior that allowed Suzie to score some much-needed points before the half. With blockers Grizzly Madams (2nd Amendment) and Rage-rienne (1122) aggressively moving the pack, Suzie darted between the lines, and the Sirens found themselves up once again 48-36. The score would remain close for the remaining six minutes, and GRR was in the lead 52-48 at the half.


  • A friend of mine and I noticed something odd. Now, we may be wrong about this because it is somewhat hard to believe, but Grizzly Madams was not in the penalty box in the first half. This is not to say she wasn’t hitting — there was plenty of Molly Roger ladies doing their best Peter Pan impersonations — but they were clean and legal.
  • This first half was the quickest I’ve seen all season. It was some of the best derby — complete with minimal penalties, clean hits and smart jamming.
  • Not to be outdone by the veterans of this team, relative newcomers LeBrawn Maimes (23) Rosie D. Ribsplitter (108) and Bazooka Jolene (3 Strikes You’re Out!) skated their asses off.

The second half start was a complete and utter nightmare to figure out. Penalties all over the rink caused timeouts after almost every other jam. The over-worked refs had to regroup just to figure out points and how many players were to stay or leave the penalty box. Despite all of this, GRR increased the lead 71-52 with two hard-fought jams by Roll It Up.

Molly Roger’s frustration was starting to show with silly errors that cost them points in this mayhem. No pack situations allowed the Sirens’ jammers through, and loss of helmet panties crushed any momentum the Rogers were trying to build. The Sirens continued to steadily increase their lead and, halfway through the second period, it was 86-64. Another mistake by Molly Roger caused lead jammer MC Jammer (V8), who saw limited action, open the door for Suzie to come out of the box and score points when Molly needed them most. The Jamburglar pretty much shut the door, adding 9 more points in two separate jams, 111-80.

A small light at the end of the tunnel for Molly was a power jam to end the bout. MC Jammer came out to hopefully score 19 points with Suzie in the penalty box. But once again, the blockers put on a show and held off the push, allowing Bonebreaker to come out and kill any hopes of a comeback. The Sirens won 118-102, heading into their next bout with Jacksonville’s New Jax City Rollers on November 7.


  • GRR would like to thank the Ocala team for showing up and giving their support. This is an up-and-coming team, much like Gainesville was a couple of years ago. Next year expect a spirited bout between these two squads.
  • Happy b-day to MC Glyph — your hard work for this organization is truly appreciated.
  • The GRR calendar is on sale. If you can’t wait to see your favorite Rebel, you can stare at them from your cubicle for an entire year. Pick one up today.


And finally on a personal note… I went to my first bout over two years ago at the Alachua County Fairgrounds, and frankly, I didn’t know what to expect. Being a “derby widow” I had no idea how much hard work on the track and off it takes to run this organization. Each bout that I went to saw more and more fans, and more and more supporters, and now, this has become a fantastic event that people of all ages look forward to. That is a credit to the women that skate, and the ones behind the scenes that oversee community involvement, scheduling and event planning. Although I am not as active as I would like to be in this endeavor, I am honored that I can at least write this little recap after each home bout. My name is Mr. Shagnasty, and I am a proud GRR widow.