Gainesville Roller Rebels silence Thunder City Derby Sirens, 159-31

It was a slow start to Sunday evening’s women’s flat track derby bout between the Gainesville Roller Rebels and the Thunder City Derby Sirens, hailing from Central Florida. After GRR’s Millhopper Devils lost by less than 20 points to Thunder City just over a month ago, the Gainesville Roller Rebels were hungry for redemption. GRR had endurance and strategy on their side as they upset Thunder City.

LeBrawn Maimes (#23) took the first lead jammer position of the night against TCDS Binky BoomBoom (#8) after a crucial block by Demonomia (#138). LeBrawn called off the jam early, with GRR warming up the scoreboard to 1-0. Gainesville continued its lead jammer streak racking up the score to 15-0 before TCDS’s Messer Up (#f0 sh0) gained momentum after an early collision in the sixth jam. However, the Roller Rebels maintained a fast pack and held the Derby Sirens to one point.

Gainesville began strategic calls early in the bout with a no-pack, knee-down quick start in the seventh jam. With blockers taking a knee before the jammers’ line, the referees must call a no-pack situation, which allows the jammers to get a faster start. LeBrawn added another four points to the Home scoreboard bringing Gainesville’s lead to 19-1.

TCDS Messer Up put up another three points before LeBrawn Maimes was at the jammer line again, this time against Slamaretto Sour (#54-46). A strong block by Eh-Nihilator (#49th Parallel) kept Slamaretto in the back as LeBrawn broke through the pack. Both teams scored four points; a small gain for Gainesville, but a successful jam for Thunder City as they doubled their score.

Krispy Kreme-Her (#0) had her fourth lead jammer position of the night with the help of Roller Rebels blocker Roll It Up (#420), who successfully closed in on TCDS jammer Messer Up. A minor collision prompted Krispy to call the jam with Gainesville still in the lead by 18 points (28-10).

After a slew of steady jams by Gainesville and a score of 34-16, Suzie Bonebreaker (#13) faced Slamaretto. Suzie made it through the pack for lead jammer position and again for four points before calling off the jam. Blocking phenom Noam Bombsky (#12) held Slamaretto and TCDS to one point. Gainesville continued strategic pack play, but both teams failed to earn points in the following six jams.

Just as the slow first half was winding down, Suzie Bonebreaker lined up against Slayor Moon (#’67), in her debut jam of the night. Gainesville started off with a slow pack as Suzie made it through early. However, a minor penalty took away any chance of Suzie becoming the lead jammer. Stuck behind the pack, Slayor Moon failed to break through the Roller Rebels solid front. With no lead jammer, the jam went the full two minutes. Suzie circled yet again, completing a grand slam and scoring 18 points.

Cheers echoed through Skate Station, and with a score of 56-16, both the crowd and the players seemed re-energized as the first half came to a close. After another knee-down, no-pack situation, LeBrawn Maimes brought the score to 62-16 to end the first half.


The second half started off slightly faster than the first, but still with low- and steady-scoring jams. Suzie Bonebreaker took advantage of a slow pack in the first jam of the second half. With only Pebbles Flinchstone in her way, Suzie knocked down Pebbles and scored four points before calling it off. With a score of 78-18, TCDS got lead jammer position back to back. Unfortunately, LeBrawn Maimes and Krispy Kreme-Her were hot on the tails of Messer Up and Binky BoomBoom; they had no choice but to call off the jams without scoring.

Early in the second half, Suzie Bonebreaker completed another Grand Slam, bringing the point totals to 82-24. Atomic Mel-Down (#U-235) and Stocky Balboa (#TK0) held TCDS to a zero point gain, knocking Derby Siren jammer Binky BoomBoom off the track. The Roller Rebels’ seasoned blocking skills allowed LeBrawn Maimes to rack up five more points.

Noam Bombsky joined Atomic Mel-Down and Stocky Balboa to block TCDS jammer Messer Up, allowing Suzie to get the lead jammer position. Atomic Mel-Down held down the back of the pack, knocking Messer Up out of bounds, leading to a track-cutting penalty that landed Messer Up in the box, while Suzie earned another 10 points for Gainesville (98-24). Jammer Slamaretto Sour picked up the lead and four points before calling the jam early.

The next jam sent roars through the crowd, but not in Thunder City’s favor. Jamming once again for the Gainesville Roller Rebels, LeBrawn Maimes faced Derby Siren threat Messer Up, the away jammer who scored 14 of TCDS’ 28 points. Before making it through the pack, Messer Up was sent to the box for cutting the track. In another show of strategic finesse, Gainesville controlled a slow-speed pack, ensuring LeBrawn’s grand slam and another 24 points (126-28).

Gainesville blocker Grizzly Madams (#2nd Amendment) propelled Krispy Kreme-Her through the pack marking her eleventh time as lead jammer. The score hovered close to 131-28 until a no-pack call and intense blocking by Atomic Mel-Down and Eh-Nihilator kept the Roller Rebels in the lead jammer position.

In one of the final jams of the evening, Patsy Clothesline vied for lead jammer against Binky BoomBoom, who scored the last point for Thunder City. With a track cutting penalty called, Binky joined a fellow Derby Siren in the penalty box. Patsy easily made her way through the thin pack with the help of her blockers. TCDS Phoenix Fawes Em Up (#41) almost edged Patsy out, but Patsy couldn’t be stopped, bringing the score to 155-31. LeBrawn Maimes scored four points in the last jam of the night, finishing with a score of 159-31 and holding on to a winning season of 12-5.

Trouble Clef and Noam Bombsky were voted MVP blockers for TCDS and GRR, respectively. Derby Siren Messer Up earned well-deserved bragging rights of MVP Jammer, having scored 14 of TCDS’ 31 points. With over 45 points, Suzie Bonebreaker was named Gainesville Roller Rebels’ MVP jammer.