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Final Score: Gainesville Roller Rebels 160, Richland County Regulators 99

Dana John Hill / Gainesville Roller Rebels
Dana John Hill / Gainesville Roller Rebels

Lovers of roller derby packed into Skate Station Funworks of Gainesville to watch the bout between the Gainesville Roller Rebels and the Richland County Regulators on Saturday night. Fans lined the skating rink walls. Suicide seats were crowded – and dangerous! It was a heated bout with fast jammers, tenacious blockers and long time-outs. In the end, the Roller Rebels took home another win.

Krispy Kreme-Her (#0) and Lethal Lo (#1ON1) started off the night jamming for the Gainesville Roller Rebels and the Richland County Regulators, respectively. Lethal Lo took a fall at the start, and Krispy secured the lead jam position. It was a fast jam, and with Lethal Lo on her heels Krispy called the jam with three points for GRR, two for Richland.

Gainesville kept pace, slowly adding points to the score. With a score of 11-3 and GRR jammer The Jamburglar (#15) starting in the penalty box alongside her teammates Atomic Mel-Down (#U-235) and Roll It Up (#420), the track looked friendly for Richland jammer Pegapuss (#249). GRR blockers Rage-Rienne (#1122) and Suzie Bonebreaker (#13) were able to keep Pegapuss at bay until a no-pack call forced them to let up. Richland blocker Precision (#240B) knocked Rage-Rienne down just before The Jamburglar was released from the penalty box. Pegapuss called the jam and brought Richland into the lead (11-18).

Krispy added another four points before GRR jammer LeBrawn Maimes (#23) took the floor. LeBrawn breezed through on the inside of a distracted pack, securing lead jammer position and calling the jam after scoring four points (19-18).

The Jamburglar went up against Lethal Lo for the first time in the early first-half. GRR blockers Roll It Up, Sisco Inferno (#616) and Noam Bombsky (#12) blocked Lethal Lo from passing the pack, while The Jamburglar battled Precision, Billie Holocaust (#88) and Pinky Slamstocking (#17) for a hard-fought five points.

In a change of pace, the Richland pack started in a knee-down position creating a no-pack scenario for jammers LeBrawn Maimes and Jean Gravy (#XM3N). Somehow LeBrawn was able to get through Pinky Slamstocking, Babe Marley (#1LUV), Poisonberry Shortcake (H8FL) and Precision, despite GRR’s Sisco Inferno and Roll It Up keeping the chairs warm in the penalty box.

Richland’s Pegapuss secured her second lead jammer position of the night against The Jamburglar. With a no-pack call, the jammers were off. Fae Tality (#1337) helped Pegapuss through the pack, and Shiv Tyler (#13) ultimately whipped Pegapuss to the lead jammer position. Richland picked up six points, bringing the score to a tie (29-29).

Another distracted pack gave way for Krispy to score lead jam position against Richland’s Lethal Lo. Atomic Mel-Down knocked Lethal Lo off the track forcing her to turn around to avoid a major track cutting penalty. Krispy brought Gainesville another three points, while GRR blockers Atomic Mel-Down, Noam Bombsky, Roll It Up and Stocky Balboa (#170) held Richland scoreless.

Despite some high-scoring jams by Richland, Gainesville held onto the lead the rest of the night. This was in large part due to the strong wall the Gainesville blockers were able to maintain jam after jam, allowing GRR jammers to take lead jammer positions for more than 70% of the first-half jams.

After both teams steadily scoring points, LeBrawn Maimes had a Power Jam when Richland’s Lethal Lo found herself in the penalty box after a major track cut. GRR’s Roll It Up also found herself in the box after receiving four minor penalties. Scoring 15 points, the Roller Rebels were now up 74-40.

The Roller Rebels had back to back power jams with Lethal Lo still in the box at the start of the next jam. GRR blocker Marty “Dix” Maraschino (#507) was able to hold off Pinky Slamstocking while The Jamburglar skated by and secured lead jammer status. After her second time through the pack, The Jamburglar met with Babe Marley’s hip and was forced to call the jam from the floor. (83-40)

Krispy Kreme-Her faced off against Pegapuss in the last jam of the half. With solid blocks from Atomic Mel-Down and Noam Bombsky, Krispy ended the first half with another four points for GRR bringing the halftime score to 87-40.

Richland came back from halftime showing off a bit more pack strategy. At the start of the second half, the Roller Rebels pack took a knee with the Richland pack at the pivot line. Before the whistle blew, Richland skated back behind the Roller Rebels. Unfortunately this play didn’t work out as intended and caused a pack collision, allowing Krispy to sneak through on the outside and tally up another four points for GRR.

For the next few jams, Gainesville consistently scored four points per jam. LeBrawn Maimes took the jammer line against Pegapuss. With Stocky Balboa, Noam Bombsky, Atomic Mel-Down and Roll It Up blocking for Gainesville, LeBrawn squeezed past Richland’s Babe Marley and Short Temper for lead jam position. Babe Marley took revenge on LeBrawn’s return around the track and knocked the Roller Rebels jammer off the track and into the suicide seats. LeBrawn was forced called it from the floor with another four points for GRR. (103-47)

In yet another display of pack confusion, Krispy Kreme-Her was the lead jammer for the eighth time after breezing by a no-pack formation. Sisco Inferno and Noam Bombsky managed to keep Richland jammer Shiv Tyler from moving through the slow pack. Preparing to get through the pack, Krispy was sent to the penalty box for back blocking, giving Shiv Tyler and the Richland County Regulators a Power Jam. Just after scoring the Grand Slam, Krispy was released from the penalty box and called the jam immediately. (112-57)

Fans blamed the next jam’s outcome on GRR announcer Glyph Huckster who mentioned multiple bouts where teams came back from large point deficits. Lo and behold, Richland’s Lethal Lo skated a Power Jam against GRR jammer LeBrawn Maimes. Dix, Rage-Rienne and Copper Chaos (#29) kept Lethal from getting the lead jammer position, but LeBrawn was sent to the penalty box shortly after giving Lethal Lo reign of the track. Despite Rage-Rienne and Dix sending Lethal Lo to the floor after a no pack call, Lethal Lo still managed to pick up 15 points for the Regulators. (114-72)

It was time for GRR to have a Power Jam. Richland jammer Babe Marley started in the penalty box against The Jamburglar. Getting through early on the inside, The Jamburglar managed to make it past Billie Holocaust on her second lap while Stocky Balboa wracked up Pinky Slamstocking. Due to pack speed confusion, The Jamburglar made it through the pack another three full times before calling it off for a total of 20 points. (139-82)

Richland jammer Pegapuss brought life to the Regulators crowd when she had her own Power Jam against The Jamburglar. Pegapuss earned the lead jammer position when she fought her way through GRR blockers Dix and Suzie Bonebreaker (#13). The Jamburglar was sent to the penalty box on a major track cutting call, allowing Pegapuss to score a Pie in the Sky. Rage-Rienne and Atomic Mel-Down blocked Pegapuss until Pinky Slamstocking stopped them both. The Richland jammer called it off after scoring the Regulators’ final 13 points of the night. (139-99)

Krispy Kreme-Her, LeBrawn Maimes and The Jamburglar each scored for the Roller Rebels before the end of the bout.

LeBrawn faced off against Babe Marley with the GRR blockers taking a knee. Swift on her feet, LeBrawn earned the lead jammer position and left the pack behind. GRR’s Roll It Up kept Babe Marley from getting through the pack twice. On LeBrawn’s third time around, she was on the receiving end of a solid hit by Richland jammer Precision and forced to call the jam. (155-99)

Richland blockers did not make it easy for lead jammer Krispy Kreme-Her in the last jam of the evening. Krispy managed one lap and four points before calling the jam and the bout.

MVP Jammers
Gainesville Roller Rebels – The Jamburglar
Richland County Regulators – Lethal Lo

MVP Blockers
Gainesville Roller Rebels – Roll It Up
Richland County Regulators – Pinky Slamstocking

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